Dean's Surrender
by L.Medora
Summary: my own Destiel turn of events on what could have happened in Point of No Return. Dean/Castiel lemony-slash oneshot. Reviews equal love!


**Author: **me

**Summary:** a Destiel turn of events for what could have happened in Point of No Return

**Disclaimer:** doesn't everybody wish that they owned the wonderful boys? They always seem to want to do naughty things with them in case they ever managed to kidnap them from the mind of Kripke… Anyway, not mine, but wish to hell they were ^.^

The heartache in Dean's chest was unbearable as he sat in the Impala, watching. Fear, anger, sadness, hopelessness…everything was muddled together in one slab of pain that thudded in his heart with every beat. But he knew he couldn't wait forever. Sam or Cas would find him any second if he didn't act quickly. So he got out of the car and crossed the street, looking over his shoulder just in case. He approached the bible thumper preaching to passersby rather loudly and pushed away the last of his emotion.

"The angels talk to me!" the man called out, his almost desperate sounding voice echoing down the slick street. "They ask me to talk to you!"

"Hey," Dean said, taking the last few steps. The man looked towards him and his eyes widened dramatically. "Do you know who I am?"

"Dear God…!" the man said, again, loudly, as though his voice had no other volume.

"I'll take that as a yes," Dean said, a little surprised that he had been recognized so quickly. "Listen, I need you to pray to your angel buddies and let them know that I'm here."

The man got down on his knees, clasping the bible in his hands with prayer. Dean knew before it had happened that it wouldn't work. That familiar flapping of wings sounded and Castiel appeared, reaching out for the praying man. With a single touch, the man was down. Then he grabbed Dean, dragging him into an empty alleyway, and slamming him against the wall. Dean saw an expression on the angel's face he had never seen before—outright rage. Cas was pissed beyond Hell like never before and the only thought in Dean's mind was _oh crap!_

"I REBELLED FOR THIS?!" Cas shouted, slamming him into the opposite wall.

He pulled his arm back and slammed Dean with it in the face with all the strength of heaven in one blow. Then another, painfully splitting Dean's lip. He lifted the man up by the collar of his jacket so that their faces were level.

"So that you could surrender to _them?_" he snarled at Dean. Dean tried to pull the angel off of him, but Cas had thrown him back against the other wall and punched him in the gut twice. Dean keeled over just as blood started to spill past his lips.

"Cas, please!" he gasped, but there was no getting through to him. Cas pinned him up against the wall again, his expression even angrier than before if it was even possible.

"I gave _everything_ for you, and this is what you do for it?" Castiel threw Dean to the ground and watched him writhe in pain. He expected Dean to get up—hell, he was eager for it. He'd never fully understood why some humans take their anger out on the ones they know and love, but doing it now…it was relieving…just to get all that pent up frustration out. But there was a voice in the back of his mind that was screaming out the guilt he would surely feel at full force later on.

"Do it…" Dean demanded, staring up at Castiel's still clenched fist, waiting for the blow that would surely end his life. "JUST DO IT!"

He saw Castiel's face relax slightly into disappointment on the verge of disgust and his fist unclenched. But his hopes for a final ending were restored as the angel reached that hand out for him. He closed his eyes, wincing as the action caused him pain. Then it was all over and he fell into a peaceful sleep.

Castiel looked down at the unconscious body on the cot in the panic room, so unceremoniously displayed. He had expected that Sam, Bobby, or more than likely both would kill him if he brought Dean back in that condition, but they had been more worried about the disappearance of the third Winchester. Sam had locked Dean in the panic room and chained him to the dingy cot. Castiel watched through the open slot as the vessel slept, seeming so peaceful and without care.

"What's eating you?" Sam asked, walking up beside him. His tone was meant to be somewhat light, but it was heavy with sorrow and anxiety.

"Nothing," Castiel said in the grave voice he used when he lied. Sam knew better than to try to get answers from the angel, so he momentarily dropped the question. It was awkward enough having a conversation with him alone without trying to press him for answers. Castiel was only sticking around for Dean's sake, after all.

"Bobby's got an idea for getting Adam back," Sam continued, staring into the panic room at his big brother. "Thanks, by the way, for helping us find the green room. I was thinking that we should take Dean with us. Bobby's all out against it, but I think we should go for it. What about you?"

"He's going to be out for a while," Castiel said quickly, knowing it would only be a few minutes longer. "If you want to get Adam back, you'll have to act quickly. I'll stay with Dean for now and meet you at the factory."

"Oh…alright then," Sam said as he narrowed his eyes at the angel. He couldn't shake the feeling that something was up, but Cas would never do anything to hurt Dean…too seriously, anyway. So he nodded and went back up the stairs to meet Bobby. Castiel looked back at Dean and in an instant, he was at his bedside.

He looked down at the body lying on the cot, staining the worn out pillows red. Castiel pulled up a chair, a wet cloth instantly appearing in his hand as he sat down. He raised it to Dean's face which had been the most damaged and began wiping up the blood. He felt his energy flowing into the human, healing him. Since he'd been cut off from heaven, his power had been diminished by thousands, but there was enough in him to help along the natural processes just a little.

That pent up guilt finally set in as Castiel worked, bringing on an all out horror as he realized what he'd done. He hurt Dean—the only reason he had left to keep on fighting. He'd damaged the vessel of his brother, the one human he'd had the honor of raising from Hell himself. The pain and self loathing of the thought tore at him, so foreign yet completely deserving.

Dean's eyes fluttered open as Cas finished wiping up the blood and the cloth disappeared. There were still a few smears of blood on his face, but his skin was no longer purple, having already healed to the yellow ad tender state. He looked up at Castiel with slight fear and resentment, then instantly tried to sit up, discovering that he'd been handcuffed by one arm.

"Sam!" he called out, causing Castiel to wince. He'd not only hurt Dean…he was traumatized too. He wondered how long it would take to gain Dean's trust again.

"He's gone," Cas said, accidentally using his grave voice. He wondered vaguely if he'd ever master using Jimmy's normal voice, though he doubted it highly. "He and Bobby left to retrieve Adam from the green room a while ago."

"You mean he's _gone?_" Dean demanded, any of his fear of the angel dissolving into sudden anger. "That little punk! Cas, would you get me outta this thing?" Dean pulled against his restraint with frustration and Castiel merely continued to stare. Dean realized what was going on and struggled to sit up straight. It was uncomfortable leaning against the metal of the cot, but at least he could look Cas in the eye without feeling paralyzed, lying down like he was. "They don't trust me not to say yes incase it's a trap, do they?"

"That is true for Bobby," Castiel admitted, narrowing his eyes. "For me as well. But your brother seems to have faith in you that even I cannot understand."

Dean smiled slightly and his eyes softened. "He'll always be my baby brother, won't he? Even when I'm about to ditch him to go be the meat suit of the angels…" Castiel nodded and looked down at his hands, twiddling his thumbs in his lap. Dean frowned at him. "What's eating you?"

"Nothing," Cas automatically said, then remembered that it wasn't Sam he was speaking to. It was Dean. If anyone had to hear it, it was him. "I was just thinking…"

"What?" Dean demanded when Castiel became reluctant.

"After all we have worked through to defy heaven, were you really about to give in so easily?" Castiel asked quietly, looking up at Dean. "I disobeyed for you, Dean. Even though you failed, I believed in your cause. I stuck by your side even when my own father disowned me. Were you really going to throw that away?"

"Look, I know I've put you through a lot—" Dean began.

"I went to a den of inequity because you asked me to!" Castiel said, feeling his previous rage poke at his skull.

"Oh, yeah…" Dean chuckled and smiled when he remembered the night he dragged Cas to the brothel. The poor angel looked like a prom date scared out of his wits when the girl was standing before him. Castiel on the other hand was further angered by Dean's reaction.

"What is so funny?" he demanded.

"Dude, what's with you?" Dean returned, narrowing his eyes. "I've seen you get angry before, and I guess you had good reason, but you're acting really weird." Castiel turned his head slowly away from Dean, struggling to keep his clenched fists in check. A sudden idea clawed its way into Dean's head, something he had never considered before, but made total sense when he put it together with all the other signs. He felt his nerves act up like they had while he'd been sitting in his car as he formed the question in his mind. "Is there another reason you didn't want me to say yes to Michael?"

Castiel's head whipped to face Dean. All the anger had completely disappeared and that absent expression he usually wore had returned.

"What do you mean?" he asked, though he knew he was only stalling the inevitable.

"What I mean is I think you've got another reason for not wanting me to be an angel condom," Dean said, refusing to let Castiel's innocent denial pass. He knew something was up and he was determined for an answer.

Castiel stared at Dean for a long time, letting the silence tick by. He knew it was unavoidable and he'd been needing to say it for a while. But staring into the depths of Dean's bright eyes, he found himself at a near loss for words. "Yes," he finally admitted. "I have my own reason."

"Well?" Dean said expectantly. He saw Castiel's resistance crumbling and victory would surely be his.

"The only reason I haven't torn out my grace already is because you still need my assistance," Castiel said slowly, unsure how to express the confusion in his head. "I would have no purpose on this Earth if you were to say yes."

"Are you kidding? Of course you would!" Dean said, staring at the angel incredulously. "You think I trust Zachariah to not kill Sammy after I say yes? I wouldn't go without knowing you'd be here to protect him when the big shebang of the apocalypse starts up. Otherwise…why would I be saying yes in the first place?"

"I do not think you fully understand my point," Cas said, trying to avoid the hint of a whine that his voice tried to bring up. He convinced himself it was a left over reaction from Jimmy. "What I mean is…what am I without you?"

Dean stared at Castiel, thoroughly confused, until his eyes suddenly widened with realization. "Oh…" he breathed, quickly averting his gaze. "Man, I had no idea…I mean…I didn't know you felt that way."

Castiel clenched his jaw, watching as Dean bit his lip, deep in thought. All his worries sudden flooded through his body like a sugar rush. Surely Dean would shut down like he always did whenever anybody mentioned something too touchy feely for his taste. He'd manage to find a way to trick Castiel into forgetting he'd said anything in the first place. All because he would never be able to return the feelings that Castiel had once thought only humans were capable of…

But then Dean scoffed and smiled slightly and those two actions suddenly merged into a chuckle. He looked up at Castiel with a humored expression and grinned at him. Cas was still confused, but slightly hopeful at what the gesture meant. He lifted a hand towards Dean and hesitated to see if he flinched away as he had before. When Dean continued to smile, his eyes wide and gleaming mischievously, Castiel reached out and placed his hand on the cheek that was still slightly blood smeared.

"Do you really want me to say no?" Dean asked, leaning his head into the angel's touch. Castiel was too speechless to answer, amazed that he hadn't been completely shut out, so he merely nodded eagerly. "So Bobby, Sam, and you all have your own reasons for wanting me to say no. I wasn't so sure earlier, but I'm feeling a lot better."

"I'm sorry," Castiel said, quickly retracting his hand.

"No," Dean said, reaching out but coming short when the handcuffs reached their limit. "Not about…what happened, I mean about this whole thing. I wouldn't let Sammy know it, but sometimes it all just feels like the world's crashing in on me. All the reasons I had for saying no back when we started this thing…they're just dissolving. And thanks, honestly, for knocking some sense into me back there. I think I really deserved it."

Castiel arched and eyebrow and shrugged, causing Dean to laugh. "Dean…" Castiel began, having the sudden need to be absolutely clear. "Are you really consenting to this?" He held onto the hand that was cuffed to the bed. Dean looked down at their twined hands full of interest.

"Yeah…" he said as though surprising himself. "Strange…I really think I am."

Dean used his free hand to cover Castiel's, still watching their hands as though they would unveil some kind of secret to a mystery. Then that hand grasped his wrist, his touch becoming lighter as his fingers traveled up the arm. He looked up at Castiel and barely resisted laughing when he saw the wide-eyed expression on the angel's face.

"Cas, are you nervous?" Dean asked quietly.

Castiel nodded and gulped. He found it unfair that Dean should be able to set his veins ablaze even through the layers of clothing. By the expression on the human's face, he saw that Dean was teasing him. He quickly caught on to the game and accepted the challenge splayed before him. He reached out with his other hand and placed it on the base of Dean's throat. Dean dutifully remained still while the angel's fingers spidered down his chest. But when they reached his stomach, he hissed and winced painfully.

"Did I hurt you?" Castiel asked, remembering how viciously he had hit him there. He gently placed his palm on the exact spot, feeling Dean's discomfort.

"I earned it," Dean shrugged, then he smiled playfully. "Make it better?"

And so the challenge furthered…

Castiel let go of Dean's hand and reached for the worn out tee shirt. Dean grinned and slid himself down the bed so that he was lying down as he had been before. Castiel managed to get the shirt up over Dean's head so that it was bunched up at the end of the handcuffs then examined the damage he had done. Cas experimentally ran his palm along Dean's abdomen which was most bruised and beat up, feeling his energy flow from him into the human. Dean's eyes fluttered shut and he sighed contentedly.

"If we survive the Lucifer-Michael showdown, you should really look into massage therapy," Dean mumbled. "I could give up motel magic fingers completely."

Cas didn't understand Dean's reference, but he assumed that Sam would be rolling his eyes if he'd heard it. But as he watched Dean drift further into his dazed state, he realized that he was losing the challenge. He reached up to Dean's arm, the one piece of his flesh he was truly familiar with, and placed his hand over that scar he'd made by rescuing him from hell. Dean's eyes flew open and his teeth ground together, all his muscles constricting with the sensations coursing through his body. Castiel suddenly removed his hand and Dean's body relaxed, his chest heaving with gulps of air.

"Holy shit, Cas, what was that?" Dean gasped, leaning his head up to look at the angel.

"Was it not pleasant?" Castiel asked worriedly.

Dean frowned and shifted uncomfortably. Then Cas saw where the discomfort came from and he immediately blushed. Dean sat up again, twisting as his arm was pulled at an odd angle as struggled to reach. Castiel made it easier for him by leaning forward and meeting him halfway. Dean's hand suddenly wrapped around Castiel's neck, drawing him closer. In an instant, their lips were crashing together in a frenzied, passionate first kiss. If he'd ever meant for such a thing to be gentle or sweet, he failed. Dean pulled Castiel so close that his chair was forgotten. The force of pulling him up pushed Dean back, Castiel eagerly following after him. Neither of them exactly paid attention as to how, but Castiel's trench coat hit the floor along with the top half of his monkey suit. Dean reached for his belt, moaning with frustration when there was little that he could do single handedly.

"Cas, could you _please_ get this thing off of me?" Dean asked as Castiel's lips traced his jaw line.

Castiel stopped what he was doing and lifted his face to look at the handcuffs. He bit his red and moist bottom lip as he grabbed Dean's free wrist and held it right up next to the other. In a swift movement, he had managed to uncuff Dean from the bed and replace it on his other wrist after wrapping the short chain around one of the small bars. He smiled at his handiwork as Dean struggled with both his hands.

"Cas, what the—" Dean narrowed his eyes at the angel, then he grinned in a cat-like way. "You kinky bastard…I didn't know you had it in you."

"Shut up," Castiel demanded, effectively cutting Dean off by kissing him again, darting his tongue through the other man's mouth and sweeping through erotically. Dean groaned into Castiel's mouth, lifting his head to deepen the kiss.

"Cas, please…" Dean muttered in complaint, shifting his hips to express his frustration and desire. Castiel sat up, straddling Dean's lap, and looked down at him.

"Are you sure?" he asked, almost hating himself for it. But he needed to know where Dean stood on all of this.

"Hell yes," Dean said with a wicked grinned. His eyes traveled up and down Castiel's body, seeming to stop in one area.

Castiel consented, reaching for his belt which he undid slowly, relishing the pleasurefully tortured expression on Dean's face. Dean's jaw dropped slightly in time with the zipper, then he gulped nervously as Castiel's fingers rimmed his pants. A moment later, he released his own discomfort, gasping as he adjusted to the cold air. Dean wriggled impatiently beneath him and Castiel conceded with new urgency. Within moments he had managed to dispose of every bit of clothing they had been wearing and he hurried back to his position on Dean, needing to kiss him again.

Dean hated not being able to touch Castiel, not being able to feel him beneath his fingertips. But he supposed that if he was patient that he would get his chance. Castiel continued to kiss him, robbing his lungs entirely of air. But it still wasn't enough for Dean. After a while when the tension became too much, he rolled his hips up against Castiel, stealing a desperate moan from the angel's lips.

"Cas…" Dean moaned. "Wanna feel you…"

He felt Castiel's smile against his kiss and the hand that travelled down beneath their bodies. He felt the hand grasp his weeping cock and he cried out, demanding more friction. Castiel squeezed his hand firmly, stroking Dean to the point where he thought it might all end too soon. But then Castiel lifted his hips and brought them down again, causing Dean to nearly scream with pleasure at the sensation of having the angel suddenly surround him in a whole new way. Castiel slowly moved up and down, his face contracting painfully while he tried to relax around the largeness of Dean. He leaned forward, running his hands over Dean's smooth chest and up his arms, clamping his mouth around the moans which had been echoing through the room.

The tiny bar that held Dean's hands suspended above his head suddenly broke and he was mostly free, though still cuffed. He pulled his arms up over Castiel's head, using the chain to pull the angel impossibly closer, bringing him down harder on the downward thrusts of his hips. Still holding onto him, Dean rolled on top of Cas, dislodging himself in the process. Castiel was about to protest at the sudden loss, but Dean covered his mouth with an erotic kiss that travelled down his throat and chest. Dean looked up at Castiel, that mischievous gleam still in his eyes, before taking the angel's throbbing member full in the mouth.

Castiel's jaw dropped and his eyes shut tightly, seeming to have lost his voice entirely. Dean sucked and drew back, using his hands in the most skillful way as though he was determined to make sure that Cas's voice stay gone. But it was found again and the angel was crying out between strained pants, screaming only Dean's name if coherent words were formed. Upon hearing his name, Dean reached down with his cuffed hands to stroke himself, never seeming to be able to relieve himself of the intense friction coursing through his body.

"Dean…" Cas warned in a low moan after a while. "I…I'm gonna…"

With drawn out suction and a flick of his tongue, Dean sent Castiel over the edge, making the angel scream with pure ecstasy. The walls shook and the spinning fan blades above their heads sped up, but they were both too distracted to notice. When Castiel's voice was lost once more, he watched, mesmerized, as Dean drank every last bit of his fluids, moaning around him as he came apart in his own hand. Afterwards, Dean lay on the bed, cradling the spent body in his arms while both their chests heaved in an attempt to regain air.

Dean wanted to mention that they should probably go help Sam rescue Adam. All his previous worries came flooding back when he remembered that he now had two brothers out in the big dangerous world and they needed his help. But as he looked down at Cas who had fallen asleep, nestled against his neck, he remembered that Sam had been on his own before and was totally capable of rescuing Adam himself. He didn't want to move from that spot if it meant the end of the world. He smiled and shook his head. There were a million worries that had earlier made him almost say yes to Michael, but now they meant nothing. The only one that mattered was that he didn't want to wake the sleeping angel in his arms.

The End


End file.
